Overcoming Fear

A Facebook friend of mine posted this image the other day and it inspired me to write about this topic today.  The message is so powerful.  Of course there are only two ways to approach fear.  You either run from it or face it.  Which one do you usually associate yourself with?  Now think about how each approach to fear makes you feel afterwards.

It's interesting to me that one approach is associated with negative feelings and the other one is associated with positive feelings.  Usually, when we are faced with a situation or opportunity that scares us, we become anxious, nervous and stuck in our comfort zone.  We don't want to take a risk without knowing the outcome of it and that "unknown" result is really the cause of the fear.  I'm sure we can all think of a time when we turned down an opportunity or activity because we were too scared to give it a try.  When I think back to the times in my life when I did this, most of the feelings associated with those moments are disappointment and sadness for not giving that thing a try.  However, when I think back to the moments when I did take chances and did something to step out of my comfort zone, I have the best feelings of accomplishment and pride that I overcame what I was afraid to do.  Some of my best and happiest memories are because I did something I was afraid to do.

There are those times of course when we do take a risk and the result ends badly or not as we expected.  My response to that is that those failures shouldn't be an excuse to stop trying or taking risks at all.  At least you did something you were afraid of and hopefully learned from your experience.  What you gain from facing fear is so much greater than whether the end result was good or bad.  It makes you stronger and helps you grow for the future.  The way I see it, there are only two possible outcomes to facing fear: gaining knowledge or gaining happiness.  Either way, there is nothing negative about it.  

As you go on your way through life, decide whether you want to stay stuck in a boring world where you never do anything out of the ordinary, or would you rather face your fears and take risks to see where the path may lead you?  To me, facing fear is so much more exciting and I would rather die living my life to the fullest than playing it safe and never doing anything outside of my tiny little world of Marlton, NJ.  Live your life. Travel. Go on adventures.  Move around and try new things.  If there's a wanting in your heart for something more than what you have now, listen to it and follow what you desire.  It will be well worth it in the end.

Live fearlessly and regret nothing because life is too short to worry about failure. 

Never Settle and Always Adapt

Quick Blog Update:  Before I begin I just want to update everyone on where I'm taking this blog.  I have stopped posting Feature Fridays and will now only be posting on Mondays.  As much as I love fitness, I do not want it to be the main focus of this blog.  I want this to be a space for people to explore their feelings, beliefs, challenges, mindset, and interpretation of the world around them.  I want to challenge the norm and hope to give people a different perspective or insight on their lives.  With that being said, let's jump into today's topic.

Never Settle and Always Adapt

We are all constantly changing, adapting, and responding to the environment that surrounds us.  Everything that is said to you or that's happened to you can have a huge impact on how you view yourself, and how you feel about the world.  People who grew up in a negative environment tend to form a negative self image and a negative outlook on what they think they deserve in life.  It isn't until we surround ourselves with positive people that we realize our true potential and how much we are capable of doing in this world.  We really can have it all, but it all depends on how willing you are to constantly adapt and change.

I never like staying in one place.  My mind is constantly moving and I am always looking for ways to improve my mindset and communicate in a healthy way.  I desire to be around people who also strive toward changing for the better and improving themselves daily.  I enjoy when people welcome change and when I have friends who challenge me to do more than I did yesterday.  When you are stuck and in feelings of negativity, guilt, anger, worthlessness, and depression, you are only attracting more of those feelings and the same kind of people into your life to fulfill those feelings.  You rob yourself of your own potential and happiness when you become too stubborn to change and open up to the world around you.

Here's something I've learned that can help in any situation, whether it's in a job or new venture you are pursuing, or the way you communicate with friends and family.

I.B.R. (Intention. Behavior. Results)

If you've ever been in a situation where you've said something hurtful to someone, ask yourself, "What was my intention when I said that?"

Then what behavior did you exhibit to get your intention across?

Finally, what was the result?  

If the result does not line up with your intention, then you need to ask yourself what you can do differently (behavior) next time to have the result you wanted.  If you want your result to be positive rather than negative, shifts in behavior can decide the outcome of any situation.

This process can dramatically change how you communicate in relationships and also how you set goals for yourself in your professional lives.  Is there a project you are working on that you have a deadline for?  Make sure you take the necessary steps action to get the result you require. If your behavior is to procrastinate, then recognize that as a behavior that needs to change and make steps to improve it in order to get the result you want.

Realizing What You're Worth

It's important to realize that throughout your process of changing that certain people will enter your life for the better and that other ones may need to leave for your greater good.  Learning to control emotions logically is what separates those who can let go of people who bring you down and those who choose to hold on.  If you're surrounded by people who do nothing but bring you down and make you feel bad, it may be time to learn to let go.  Sometimes those people can be the closest people to you like friends and family.  Never settle for friendships and connections who do not uplift and bring you happiness.  Although we are ultimately alone, we are all in this world together going through the same struggles and hardships.  Choose to embrace people who take their struggles as learning opportunities and a chance to grow.  

Changing can be hard, but there isn't one thing, person, animal, or plant that is immune to it.  Those who try to fight is will also fight their potential to see how amazing they can become and will be stuck in negativity, but those who embrace change are those who grow into amazing successful people and build relationships and friendships that last a lifetime.  

My hope for all of you is that you embrace change and that you learn to love yourselves for exactly where you are and exactly where you're going.  Let go of those things that are weighing you down and move on.  The past doesn't change so worrying and reliving it will not serve your greater good.  We all deserve the best, but receiving the best all depends on how much you believe you deserve it.  

Happy Monday and stay warm :)

Be Grateful for Where You Are

After spending this weekend with some friends snowboarding in a truly beautiful place, it's made me think about how grateful we all should be.  It's so easy to distract ourselves with our phones rather than enjoy the company of others.  We should be living in the moment and taking in our surroundings rather than focusing on what's happening in our virtual worlds.  The Earth is an amazing place with so many beautiful views and moments that sometimes we miss them while looking through our phones.  With that being said, not only should we be grateful for each moment, but we should also be grateful for exactly where we are in life.  

Sometimes people tend to get frustrated when they don't get everything they want right away.  Whether it's a certain job, a relationship, or progress in a certain sport or skill.  Life is a journey meant to be experienced by little changes over time.  If we all got exactly what we wanted right away, I don't think we would appreciate what it took to get there.  For me, my progress in the gym and with snowboarding is made slowly and is never rushed.  As long as I see that I am improving over time I can be happy.  Life is about growing and learning in any way possible and if you feel as if you aren't moving forward, you may need to ask yourself if you're being challenged enough.  When people get stuck in a job, or relationship or physical progress, many times, they just aren't pushing themselves to do better than they could be. 

If you are in a relationship that seems to be boring or monotonous, ask yourself if you are challenging each other to be better people every day or to step outside your comfort zones to find ways to enjoy your time together.  If you're stuck when it comes to making progress in the gym, ask yourself if you've been pushing yourself as hard as you can or eating what you should be.  If you stick to the same routine every day, life will be boring and you won't have any fun at all.  However, if you're spontaneous and take chances and try something new, you usually end up having the greatest times and the best memories.

Recognize where you are and be grateful for it, because it's small changes over time that got you to where you are and will keep moving you forward.

Letting Others Define You

This post is going to be a little different.  Although this is not directly related to fitness, it has everything to do with your body image, self confidence and how you view yourself.  

Who Are You?

Throughout our lives, we are introduced to many different people and faced with situations that slowly shape who we become as a person.  When you're younger, you're constantly told by friends, peers, and family what you should be doing, what you should look like, and what choices you should make.  When you were made fun of as a kid, it might have been because you didn't fit the stereotype of "cool" or you didn't look a certain way.  Eventually, after years of being told what you shouldn't be, you start molding yourself to become a person that others will accept.  What does it really mean to be yourself then?  Aren't we all just a collection of the things we've been told and what the people around us are like?

If this is true, it can be very hard to understand who you are as a person, and who you want to be.  If you were constantly told you weren't good enough, skinny enough, or good looking enough, then eventually you start to believe it and it becomes a product of who you are.   Your self confidence starts to lower and you begin attracting people into your life to reassure you of what you already feel about yourself.  If you feel unwanted, neglected, angry, or unworthy of great things in life, you start to attract those people that will continue to fuel those feelings.  Sometimes, you may even meet some awesome people, but depending on how you feel about yourself, they may or may not become your friends.  When you put out a good vibe into the world, your rewarded with people and experiences that return that same good feeling.

Defining Yourself

Here's the secret to defining yourself.  Start telling yourself who you want to be and do not let anyone else's opinion get in the way.  If it's true that we are a product of everything we've been told, then using positive self talk can have the same affect.  The truth is, the only person that can make you feel great is you.  Compliments from your friends might make you feel good and attractive in the short term, but at the end of the day, it's how you feel about yourself that will stay with you.  A significant other won't fulfill your desire to be loved, and addictions won't erase your feelings of loneliness and guilt about your past, your mistakes, or your choices.  The saying that others can't love you until you love yourself is completely true.

If you want to be loved, tell yourself every day that you are already loved, and feel the feelings associated with those words.  If you want to have friends, tell yourself you have more friends than you can imagine.  If you want to be fit and in shape, start telling yourself that you look beautiful and amazing.  If you want to be more successful, tell yourself that you already are making as much money as you could ever desire.  The more you tell yourself these things, the more you will start to believe them and the more you will take action to become those things.  Repeat these words to yourself every day, multiple times per day, and your life will begin to change.  

You truly are the writer of your life.  You should never punish yourself because of your past and let the things that people have told you or your circumstances define who you are.  Chances are that the people who told you those things had their own insecurities.  Your previous choices, experiences, and faults do not define you. Every day is a new day and a chance to begin defining who you really want to be and who you really want in your life.  Every day that you let anger, guilt, and regret stay with you is another day that you push away a fulfilling and happy life.  

We all deserve the best things out of life no matter what we've been through.  Your mind is the most powerful tool you own and it can either be your enemy or your compass.  Which will it be for you?